Wednesday, March 2, 2011

I Have To Do Something....

I have a two year old. She's spunky and energetic and I hope she stays that way. I've noticed that since January, she has been pulling on my shirt to get up and play or dance with her. I think she's come to the realization that her mother is a couch potato and does her darndest to get her Mom off the couch.

I'll read with her (on the couch). I'll sing songs and play guitar (on the couch). I'll color with her on the coffee table (while sitting on the couch). I don't think that will cut it for her anymore. We'll go outside sometimes and then I'll be out of breath much sooner than my daughter would like. I'm sure Baby Sagittarius doesn't want her Mom to just watch her run around.

I have a whole lot of "I used to's" floating around in my head. I used to run track, I used to play softball, I used to be a fast runner, I used to, used to, used to has changed. I don't do those things anymore and "I used to" be really, really good at all those things.

I just needed a wake up call. I'm lucky that I don't have anyone being brutally honest about my weight and appearance at home. My friends and family are lovely but I just needed someone to slap me and tell me to do something. It happened in a dream. I know, it's not real but shook me to my core nonetheless. I had a dream that I was in Los Angeles visiting family along with my sisters. My awesome cousins wanted to take us to an art show and I was so excited. My eldest sister in my dream said that I wasn't allowed to go because I would embarrass her and everyone else with my appearance. I know that in real life, my sister is very sweet and very encouraging and would never, ever tell me those things. If anything she might ask me about my knowledge on art. But either way, I woke up and decided I need to do something.

Today, after Sesame Street when my daughter skipped off the couch and pulled on my shirt, I got up and we danced. We ran around the house and sang our favorite songs. She was laughing, bemused at the fact that Mom didn't give her something to entertain herself with. I don't have a goal, I don't have a number to reach, I just want to change my "used to's" to "can do's."

1 comment: