I Don't Snore...

I wish you could hear the snoring going on right now.

Imagine a freight train and lion's roar boosted to eleven right next to your ear for at least 6 hours almost every night for almost 9 years.

My husband and I had never lived together before we were married. I'm not wishing that we did and I'm not saying that the snoring would have been a deal breaker; I'm just saying that it came as quite a surprise. I snore and yeah, it can get a little loud but I've never heard anything like this. At first he said, "What? I don't snore." I'm pretty certain I lost a lot of sleep during the first year of our marriage or the dark, puffy circles under my eyes was telling me it was true.

I looked up tricks online to reduce the snoring: mouth guard, flipping them over, remove tonsils (a doctor would do that...but I really wanted to try by myself) or my personal favorite - sleep on the couch. My husband said no dice to the mouth guard and flipping him over a few times a night meant that I was still losing sleep but now with a new physical challenge. Mechanic hubby is pretty sure that he needs his tonsils removed but he just shrugs his shoulders and says "Meh, oh well." And sleeping on the couch isn't fair; Mechanic hubby doesn't snore on purpose. My prayer was answered when the snore strips came out. He tried it once but didn't quite follow the directions about how to remove the strip in the morning. He pretty much yanked it off his nose and then it scarred him for life; he never used them again (you're supposed to moisten the strip and remove it slowly).

So after years of hearing the snoring, I got used to it and it became white noise in the background. I didn't think of it again until I was in my third trimester with my daughter. My husband must of been totally beat by bedtime and was snoring up a storm. I flipped him over and he quieted down and I fell asleep. Well, he must have changed positions because he let out something fierce and my daughter gave me the beat down from the inside. She didn't know what that noise was and it must have scared her. This made me worry about what nights would be like after she was born. Was my husband going to be banished to the living room? Was my daughter going to wake up after hearing any kind of sound? Was I destined to never get a good night's sleep ever again???

Just this past week, Mechanic hubby was visiting his family; a week long vacation leaving Baby Sagittarius and I at home. I wasn't really looking forward to a week of no breaks and a pending blizzard but I was looking forward to uninterrupted sleep. I set up my bed with as many plushy pillows and was not restricting myself to one side of the bed. I was going to sleep in the middle. So, bedtime rolls around the first night and I remember I had a book I wanted to read so I started reading. I figured it would put me to sleep, but it didn't. I think I stayed awake until about 2:30. The next night I thought I would just plop into bed and fall asleep instantaneously; big fat nope. I knew what it was. I missed the white noise of Mechanic hubby's snoring. We've been separate before but that's when I was pregnant and when you're pregnant if you need to sleep you will (at least in my case). I recorded him snoring just before I started writing this post but he would be absolutely mortified if I shared it with anyone.

Amazingly enough, my daughter also got used to the sound of her daddy's snoring so by the time she was born, it didn't bother her. My daughter slept through the night by 2 months and she has her own tiny snore. Lucky me, I guess. He's also a kicker but that doesn't really bother me, I kick back.