I felt like I was absolutely needed today.
My day started at the same time it does everyday but I had an inkling that today was going to be a whopper of a day. It was chilly today so hot chocolate was in my future and after I updated my status on Facebook stating that I was making what could have been a supremely rich cup of hot chocolate; my daughter wakes up with the sounds of dry cough so I go pick her up and let her meander to the living room and I noticed that she had some goo on her cheek. She's a drooler so I thought nothing of it. Then I was hit with a smell. I turn on her bedroom light and there it is. She threw up some time in the night and I didn't hear a thing. Dried up vomit was all in her crib and stuffed animals. I rush over to her and there's dried up vomit on her light blue polka-dotted pajamas.
I immediately felt like the worse mother in the world. How did I not hear her puking last night?
I stripped her bedding, threw it in a basket and grabbed a diaper to change her. As I walked to her I heard a blast...a poopy blast...it was a sign that today was going to be a crappy day. I let out a sigh and try to mentally prepare myself for whatever today was going to bring.
I change one of the worst diapers in the world, clean her up and change her clothes. She's crying the whole time because the wipes are cold against her skin and she begins to flail all the while I'm trying to contain her, the mess of poop (which was watery and all the way up her back), and my mental state. Once she's cleaned and in a fresh set of clothes, she relaxes...just a little and raises her arms up to me to hold her and I do. She's had a rough morning and I really needed a hug. The moment is short-lived. She starts to squirm in my arms, tossing left and right, then I hear a watery burp....and I'm thankful for laminate floors.
This was the cycle: light diarrhea, changed diaper, hugging, vomit, change clothes.
This went on until about 2:45 pm at which she finally fell asleep. I took advantage of the time and threw in the puke load of laundry, and thought I should eat a little something because I was starting to feel light-headed from not eating anything at all. Could you blame me for not having an appetite? I peruse various websites looking for pointers when dealing with vomiting and they all said the same thing - it's a waiting game.
I have to admit during hour two of puke-o-rama I lost my nerve. My daughter, who was feeling like crap, would just look at me and cry. They weren't alligator tears, but real tears..as if to ask, "Well, aren't you going to do anything?" I felt helpless and lonely and all of my mothering know-how went out the window. I called my very good friend because I just wanted someone to agree with me that "yes, that does suck and yes it sucks that there's nothing you can do but wait for this bug to pass."
I did the only thing I knew that helped me when I'm sad and I hugged my daughter. That's all I could do. I held her, moved slightly from left to right and just hugged her. I only put her down so she could vomit and as soon as she was done, I cleaned her up and continued to hug her. We watched all of her favorite shows and movies and spent most of the day on the couch. I changed her clothes six times today, my husband gave her a bath shortly after dinner and we proceeded to watch baby-friendly edutainment. She went to bed late tonight only because I wanted to make sure she had puked everything she had.
Reflecting on today, I felt like I was a mother. Not to suggest that I'm not every other day of my life but like the title meant more today. My daughter wanted nothing more than my hugs to soothe her, my mediocre voice to sing her songs and cushion-like body for her to snuggle in. She didn't want toys, special treats or anything else, just her Mom. So puke-o-rama was really hug-o-rama, love-o-rama and test-o-rama. I'd have to say that my night ended on a high note...the friend I complained to brought my daughter some electrolytes and brought me some much needed pick me ups - chocolate chip cookies!!!
I think my day was crappy because I decided it was going to be crappy way too early. By night fall, my day wasn't as bad as I deemed it to be, and I'm thankful.